We’ve updated our Terms of Use to reflect our new entity name and address. You can review the changes here.
We’ve updated our Terms of Use. You can review the changes here.

Writin' Songs

by The Funny Uncles

/
  • Streaming + Download

    Includes unlimited streaming via the free Bandcamp app, plus high-quality download in MP3, FLAC and more.
    Purchasable with gift card

      $10 USD  or more

     

  • Full Digital Discography

    Get all 73 Drew Danburry releases available on Bandcamp and save 80%.

    Includes unlimited streaming via the free Bandcamp app, plus high-quality downloads of Son, Not Misunderstanding Litotes, Nostalgia for Arannis Morissette, the Half-Elf Bard (feat. Corbino), Caroline (feat. Icarus Phoenix), Lynette, Christmas at Danburry Pond, Striker, Harmony, and 65 more. , and , .

    Purchasable with gift card

      $53.60 USD or more (80% OFF)

     

  • Limited Edition Triple Cassette Pack
    Cassette + Digital Album

    Limited Edition Cassette Pack released by Related Records. Only 50 copies available.

    Includes unlimited streaming of Writin' Songs via the free Bandcamp app, plus high-quality download in MP3, FLAC and more.

    Sold Out

1.
Pepsi 00:44
It's not a problem it's really more a habit I'm not an addict I get headaches all the time But if you have a Pepsi in your fridge, I'd gladly have it My body hurts I'm gonna lose my mind Depression, nausea, pain and constipation Depression, nausea and pain
2.
Kraft 00:40
Kraft cheese isn't cheese Kraft food isn't food And they'll spend millions to avoid labeling And hope you don't find out just what their products do cause Kraft cheese isn't cheese Kraft food isn't food
3.
Nabisco 00:39
Everything's just like this cookie Simple black and white Hey buddy that's my wife You're doing the twist with my goddamn wife In my goddamn kitchen too Where we keep the goddamn Oreos.
4.
Johnson & Johnson have a big johnson And oh how they do love to wield it They gather their lather without too much blather Moisturizing as fast as they can
5.
Red Bull 00:39
Red Bull, kickflip, murder, tacos nollie blunt switch shove it tailslide crail grab 720 heelflip manual Tony Hawk Red Bull, sweet bros, Starcraft, Bam Margera, Travis Pastrana Red Bull
6.
Old Spice 00:44
We embarked in search of the eldest spice The legend spoke of one which striketh down thine ancient grievance The smell which hath obstructed thine loins For if thine elders did not wear it Though wouldst not have been born
7.
Netflix 00:20
Dear Netflix, you don't have everything I want available in your instant queue. Remember when you raised your prices? I was so mad. 800,000 people were also so mad. They unsubscribed. And why can't you stream Edge of Honor with Corey Feldman? I really want to watch it.
8.
Fox 00:38
Fox News! We're gonna give you all the info Fox News! We're gonna hit you where you live Fox News! We're always watching ever vigilant Fox News! For any threat against conservatives The world's on fire, it's the goddamn liberals fault! Fair and balanced.
9.
Hershey 00:26
Hershey gives you the hershey squirts and all their chocolate is half and half wax They helped ban other imported chocolate cause they can't compete Hershey the American Chocolate Bar...failure.
10.
Taco Bell 00:55
Taco Bell, please bring back the Chilito so we can get Hepatitis C again. Que viva el Chilito! Que viva Hepatitis C! Mi mujer es muerta porque el chilito. Mi mujer es muy borracha, es muy bien. Que viva el Chilito! Que viva Hepatitis C!
11.
Gillette 00:33
Shaving supplies can get so much better but King Camp Gillette thought stropping with leather was just wasted time and millions affirmed this but Gillette is now owned by Proctor & Gamble
12.
Swatch 00:12
Swatch, lasts forever like a bunny with a bass drum.
13.
HBO 00:50
It's not just television it's HBO I got a pile of things to do after I binge on Game of Thrones Plus True Detective plus what's happening on The Brink How have the hours flown so fast, I should try to get some sleep Tune in tomorrow, try again tomorrow.
14.
Samsung 00:36
Samsung eavesdrops through your smart TV The info is transmitted to a third party A shady corporation I guess they're all the same Embezzlement and bribery corrupt down to the name of Samsung
15.
AT&T 00:32
To spy on humanity around the world was Alexander Graham Bell's vision when he first started AT&T in 1876. To listen in on gossip and be the first to sell said information to news outlets was his life's goal and dream. And now with advanced mobile services and the most reliable network available. AT&T taps your phones and gives the information to the government or any other 3rd party willing to pay for your life's secrets. So go with AT&T and let's hope you don't have anything to hide.
16.
Burger King 00:36
You cannot always have it your way all the time, for instance , let's say you're a cow or a pig or a chicken or sometimes a horse. You're corralled in a tiny pen pumped with hormones and medicine, Your life's purpose is to sustain hairless apes in their blood soaked reign, of course.
17.
Skittles 00:22
Skittles full of corn syrup, genetically modified, so when you get cancer, with medical bills so high, you won't afford them. Death.
18.
Wells Fargo 00:44
I'm sinking deeper into the red Creative timing on my charges turned my nothing into debt The bankers squeal happily like pigs at the trough Squeezing blood from out our zeroes at thirty five dollars a pop.
19.
Chevron 00:04
Chevron! Our gas is better that's why we charge more dummy.
20.
Goldman Sachs! Give us your money and we'll make you rich!
21.
Ford 00:32
Ford trucks are so tough we're practically homophobic Ford trucks are so tough we probably hate your gay nephew We're like a rock and your gay nephew is not Like a rock
22.
Snickers 00:32
Hunger makes a man, do a lot of things he doesn't want to do All I wanted was a nibble of your Snickers, just a nibble or two But it turns out you are selfish so you see this gun I'm packing Better give me that damn candy bar or something bad will happen
23.
Supercuts 00:21
Supercuts are super we're the largest hair salon chain We take care of your hair in case you wanted to know
24.
Anheuser Busch it comes from water cold and pure Unlike the water in this jerkwater berg, birth defects have no cure Our boy's just barely smart enough to know that he is slow Thank Christ for Anheuser Busch.
25.
Google 00:12
Google has the answer to every question. Even rhetorical ones, as well.
26.
ExxonMobil 01:01
I served aboard a tiny little tanker, but was a slave to a raging OCD I swabbed the deck and cleaned the head could bounce a nickel off my bed I was the cleanest roughneck ever took to sea One fateful evening as I prepped to take the night watch I read a telegram which rent my heart in twain I crawled inside a deep Merlot dead drunk I didn't see the floor Which breached the hull and left the ocean stained
27.
Microsoft 00:28
Microsoft is a company dedicated to a higher ideal And Bill Gates knew the company should be named after his penis So he used his hands to touch and feel Microsoft.
28.
Walmart 00:38
We're big, we're fucking dumb, we're coming to your town. We're big, we're fucking terrible, we're coming on your town's face. We're big, we're big, we're big.
29.
Heineken 00:33
People toss salad and that is life, Heineken tastes like your salad's tossed. It's long for heine like a heineken, Heineken is dutch for a canine's ass. Don't ask us how we know how a dog's ass smells, we're the 3rd largest brewer in the whole world. Heineken tastes just like a dog's ass.
30.
I fell in love in a New York Minute and it took two, instead of one. I'd watch a snuff film if the Olsen girls were in it. Ashley with a butcher knife. Mary-Kate with a big ass gun.
31.
Kelloggs 00:32
Since 1904, Kelloggs has been bringing the best to you each morning because they're dedicated to your well being. Their goal is to enrich and delight the world through foods that matter so families can flourish and thrive. You can trust in their wholesome advertising because that's the Kelloggs promise It's the Kelloggs guarantee. Kelloggs sounds delicious.
32.
Amazon 00:35
It's a jungle out there, in your mind, without distractions Without civilizations trappings do you feel like you might die? Supplicate possessive patron saints Materialistic matrons Mighty amazons can save you from intrusive thoughts of death Till death arrives.
33.
Coca Cola 00:33
Coke gave me a bloody nose but we've all had one of those Coca Cola living the dream, I can do anything! Coca Cola look at me now, avant garde man way far out Coca Cola isn't this art or is it something else? Coca.
34.
Air Jordans 00:43
Demographics have it that there will be storm and static If we don't use the right semantics when we try and sell you shoes But your cynicism's rampant it can see through crappy rapping We need ironic detachment subtly making you buy these shoes Alright, oh yeah. Remember this guy? Michael Jordan wears my shoes And every night he sings the I wish I had my own shoe blues Michael Jordan wears my shoes And maybe one day all his hard work will result in some breaking news.
35.
The Republican Party fights terror abroad They lower the taxes and give everyone jobs They love everybody and do all that they can To make our lives better, every woman and man.
36.
We're gonna change the world, the future is looking bright Everyone's gonna be free as a bird, free to do whatever the State thinks is right. Springsteen is playing our benefit gala, televised right to your home Corporate attitude couched in some platitudes helps our regime to prosper and grow.
37.
H&M 00:27
Hey man, where are....are we in a club? What? It's H&M? Is that a club?
38.
Ooh, ooh, it's lacy and new and now I can stand to be around you Honey dress up our frustrations and our deepest regrets In hooks and under wire and thigh high fishnets.
39.
Subway 00:14
Azodicarbonamide. Subway. Azodicarbonamide is the yoga mat chemical found in Subway sandwiches. It's not good for you, they call it the yoga mat chemical.
40.
Monsanto 01:13
Look at this beautiful garden, the tomatoes and the carrots and peas God himself couldn't make vegetables that look as good as these Oh what an age we live in Oh what a heaven on Earth Cutting out the middleman when we grow it in a lab We don't need no God or his stupid water and dirt We're gonna fuck with genes tonight. We're gonna eat like kings tonight.
41.
Chipotle 00:17
Chipotle, won't make burritos with melted cheese.
42.
Comcast 00:14
Twenty minutes on hold to sign up for your service is way too long Comcast.
43.
Dairy Queen 00:28
Forget your dead end job your nasty hateful spouse Your rotten blood sucking kids listen to your id Just keeping eating ice cream
44.
Whole Foods 00:31
Whole Foods where value matters Whole Foods from a happy place Whole Foods requires higher standards Whole Foods whole people whole planet united as one, one day
45.
Disney 00:35
Welcome everyone to the richest scheme in history Every parent's guilt is mollified buying the kids Disney I saw phallic symbols on the cover of Little Mermaid The priest got a boner but the lesson really takes the cake That kids are smarter than their predecessors and responsibility is really for schmucks
46.
Three happy meals makes me happy right away, when I super size each meal I'm super sizing me for real and I can be a superhero celebrity superstar McDonalds makes me happy McDonalds makes me strong McDonalds helps me work all day To make my dreams come true McDonalds is the fuel McDonalds I love you everlong

about

Modern commercial jingles for corporate America.

credits

released September 19, 2016

Recorded and Performed by Drew Danburry & JR Boyce.
Released by Related Records.
Album Art by JR Boyce.

license

tags

about

Drew Danburry Baltimore, Maryland

Drew Danburry has independently toured and released records since 2002.

He's released over 400 songs on over 20 albums/13 EPs and played 800 + shows worldwide. Including 2 Daytrotter sessions, 3 invitations to Pop Montreal, 1 to Pygmalion Music Festival and 1 to Treefort Music Festival.

He's accomplished this long list of acheivements almost entirely DIY.
... more

shows

contact / help

Contact Drew Danburry

Streaming and
Download help

Shipping and returns

Redeem code

Report this album or account

Drew Danburry recommends:

If you like Writin' Songs, you may also like: