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Besides, Are we playing around out here, or do we mean what we say?

by Drew Danburry

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1.
Good morning wintertime so good to see you, but I can't wait for spring. It's always been a time where, I can dream. As I procrastinate through summer and worry through fall, the leaves are darkening the days continue shortening their call, is what I long for when I cry for a home that is no more, It's been a few years since I left that shore. Pick up and plant your roots in this new soil, It may take a few embittered years but it will be worth the toil, the images of family are fast fading away, and as you look at yourself in the mirror, wonder how you became: This spitting image of your Father unique within yourself Your decisions shape your branches as you struggle to leave...
2.
i wish i could write these feelings in some sort of poetic words, but all i can think to say is that it hurts; resembling pain just like a flame resembles astringent gas, i guess i'll accept what may be coming next but i'm hoping this task may soon pass. that which doesn't kill me makes me strong so fire away, i will not return the pain again someday; you never know someone's beautiful till they've whispered their breath in your ear, you never know its all magical till you look in their eyes and see fear, but magic fades when its a charade a game you'll lose if you're serious ‘cause most people aren't willing to play don't risk your heart and you'll never love, but i'd feel better to have never have played than to have lost so much; i guess to make ourselves feel better, we twist the truth in knots cuz we're so victimized...like: why can't you just love me (he's great and I'm just okay) I know that I can't compete (but i swear i wouldn't treat you that way) (build me up till i believe) without you there's nothing left (make me blind to feel or see) when you leave i lose my... even the times my eyelids close shut, i'm still tired when they open again; like the loneliness i feel in big crowds, even when i came with friends. long bus rides depress me, like talking with friends far away; or knowing you can't see the person you live for, for the next few days.
3.
i'm so sick of this scene in this act in this play i'm just the scenery but i always seem to stand in the way, mark up the sidewalk with colored chalk so you can hop everywhere instead of always having to take a walk. take the shortcut but it leaves a rut, both parties are found partying but she's the one called a slut we're all found guilty but refuse to take the blame and we're too weak to be unique and too scared to face cleansing rain. i'll face it, i'll face it, so here i go alone but i'll make it yeah i'll make it without you i am not... now i know what it means to be alone and read with that idealistic brush that the writer he hands to me I'm painting everything i feel observe and see like if its watercolor then call me the Joseph Turner of word imagery. so lets dance around the festering splinters left behind being issues of why we choose to engage in conversations avoiding confrontations filled with all the reasons of why we decide to hate someone's differences that make them who they are as we justify tearing their world down with their state of mind and state of being but we're not seeing that every pair of eyes comes in a different shape our chance for happiness will come in a different form shape and way one day i hope to wake and find that i been dreaming this whole time or maybe this is just a play in which we act or maybe we forgot just where we're from or we forgot just where we're at but if i wake will i remember you ‘cause i'd tell all my friends of this girl i knew a dream come true doo doo doo chorus... (Kissing without intentions of true love, is by far the worst deceit. You think you're the one receiving, but it's your soul you cheat. You lie to yourself, and those you truly love, and when you meet that special one you'll find that you have none, no love to give ‘cause you'll have used it up, and in the meantime you've become the victim of, your own lust)
4.
its beautiful here Father sorry if i get sometimes i make things with this independence i think i found her Father the one that was gonna come but i dont believe.... obviously drunk with sleep i flaunt the flounder tumbling with my tongue in hand they asked for good songs to remember escapism's in demand the war of outright honesty unbroken promises, don't shake she's the one that made me quiver but then helped show me the way morbid attempts construct towers to heaven the glass is spent no solvent seems to solve the bawl if we're both willing how can we cause pain you wonder why it becomes chilling how we repeat the same crimes each night so we just... so we just... how can i stop it father we're all drowned in stains we grow accustomed to it uniquely all the same i feel so helpless father in glass we're all found framed and set in stone and poised to dive so take the plunge into the grey
5.
No I will not settle for, pointing the blame on the lukewarm, weak heart no more. weak heart no more. If I tried to describe, how deep I see into your eyes, would you get scared and run from me? Seeing too deep to hide dishonesty. But if I tried to unbreak you, from all the things that you could do, would you deny potential, point fingers right and left to hot and cold. But despite change we decide if for worse, no escaping home or where we were first. Our trials and errors give us shame, and we both live but not the same, you live you give you lose you grow, but you don't grow responsible. Would you get scared to touch my heart, see it unraveled, left unapart. Does it frighten you, to see such power, and lose it in less than an hour. No I will not settle for, pointing the blame on the lukewarm, you should know your history, before you try the future out with me I've got a weak heart no more.
6.
The river sang the song, ‘bout you across the stream, wearing a ton of pink, but mostly on your cheek. Repeat what's been repeated transformed to frames of time, I know it gets confusing when you play it back but cannot hit rewind. Don't settle out of fear, because of boisterous blind, just ‘cause I think people are hypocrites, doesn't mean I can't be kind. Use selfishness as safety, surround yourself with mirrors, pointed outward to reflect our faults, so you can hide your fears. But if I'm caught condemning, condemn only myself, we paint ourselves as martyrs with the very same fingers we pointed others straight to hell. (Hey make the circle bigger, ‘cause we cannot all fit I suppose you think I think I'm pretty clever, clone the alphabet. This time it's just for Sam, don't know me now just know what's past)
7.
Since when did things become so grey i used to wish for rainy days but now i seem to dream in color not black and white and for a midnight drive so clear with you beside me in my ear never had a comfort call be so unbearable but the way all the trees swayed was way too clever to be a mistake and with a candid clarity saw you unravel before me and every stitch that made us we now the swineherd seems much cleaner the preacher seems less cruel the politician just seems more crooked we bend our knees but stand on stools but the way all the trees swayed was way too clever to be a mistake and with a candid clarity saw you unravel before me can't let that happen don't you see you see its more than just a crush dont understand the passionless all those who float with all the rest its wintertime our friends will test but the way all the trees swayed was way too clever to be a mistake and with a candid clarity saw you unravel before me
8.
There's no comfort in comparison tonight such degradation is not mine to deride shoot it down shoot it down with makeshift wood take it apart tear it up it does much too good we work hard to be, but feign horribly chase what we can't have, deny available reasons to smile but selfishness moderates such euphoria with egocentric and bellicose interruptions so twist the wrist with a smile to confine prevaricating intent deliver convincing assurances with the deception that lies from within in and out one ear, like some ancient grievance the answer is before, the awaited retort the problem cannot be shared though it seems so unfair
9.
Storm a coming bellowed the captain wildly Bound to a place I cannot stay or be Starboard bow is going under quickly I knew I was dead the day they set me free To make a choice they won't allow, first they just push then make you bow If you resist they won't decease, until you're buried underneath the place they walk and so its said, why be walked on while overhead, they live their lives so undisturbed, why fight against, display such nerve. for in the austerity of youth we give and take knowing full well of the energy we can make but as the shudders of the windowpane reflect our tears as a reaction to the rain that cleanses fears there's a sunset after every thunderstorm and it's appreciated though found tired, cold and worn why bother waiting for all the stars to shoot and fall when its the wilderness within the world, i call. home.
10.
I was just calling now to see how you were doing you know i haven't called to talk for a few weeks I took a walk last night because my mind was brewing over the mess we made when we both couldn't see there's no need to hear advice, optimistic illusions just like the screen we place in front of our eyes, just like your idealism clouds reality avert your wary eyes its 1984 without coercion subtle subversion to the puritanical we're unified unable to redefine our world we make what's bearable seem quite far from bearable mariner overboard we can't bear to steer ashore the portly porter's parlantry did poorly at the fair ignored when he called to me I'm wary of his worthless wares and besides, how could i hear him when i wasn't there I cannot help but feel, this situation puts me in a place, I cannot win With either choice I make, I'm sacrificing nations No matter what you'll be convinced you're the victim
11.
With a subtle southwesterly wind she caresses the strings with the bow the bow she'd used for years As the dust lingered more on the floor than the case where forgotten she had left so many of her fears, she left so many fears Raised to be frugal and chaste with an eye that searched for everything everything wholesome and plain Knowing each new day brought many delights with subtle nuances unappreciatively the same unappreciated, more like obliterated there was a fog so thick you couldn't cut through it carrying a cold so damp it just crept into your bones diffusing light like independence day sparklers vivacious hues and tones and you'd hear voices before you'd see a face proclaiming fear that the rain would drown the place the same rain that you could touch and taste as if snow bringing the shakes that wouldn't dream of letting go But the call of the morning sun gently reminded her window sill of much better days Before she'd fallen into the uneasy malady she described as a delitescent malaise The days when the cry of the prairie left her speechless enamored and whole she felt so full the taut strings untightened present fears unfrightened summer days untainted by the cold but now each day she wakes and each new day softly breaks and she rises with a gentle sigh like the fluttering of wings she caresses the strings with the comfort she's hoping to find I hope she finds it...
12.
There's no relief, for all these actions there's no meaning So take and leave, you got a ticket and a piece of me These trains are my thoughts traveling without stop like our friendship's sailing away I know it's hard when I lose hope but no escape won't end No calm will remain constant I'd like your sex but not as much as your breath on my neck, when we sleep I'd like your smile but not as much as your arms round me when it's been too long Hey yeah I'll believe in nothing when you cannot will not mean everything Resignations all about timing condemn myself forever but I'll escape nonetheless Why can't we stop we can't go back? Am I worth walking aftermath? You can't forget forever, I mean, I made reservations I entertain, but sometimes I can't control when I smile One day my actions will bring to light what cannot be comprehended.

about

Despite the distance
Your arm still hangs around
Reminding me of family
and where love can be found.

Though different beds and different lives
We spread our blanket here and there
To cover across mountaintops
Reaching when and where.

When you need comfort
Where there's no love
When you feel lonely
far and above

What you can bear
what you can take
When you've reached limits
and must make

Decisions of how to proceed
When you're caught in time of need
When you must learn and grow alone
Please realize where there is home

Not in a place or time we be
But in our hearts and family tree
Search not for hands nor for embrace
But remember where to find my face

credits

released February 14, 2005

Leo Patrone - bass - track 2-4, 6-7, 10-11
Leo Patrone - keys - track 3
Leo Patrone - extra guitar - track 4, 6 and 10
Micah Dahl Anderson - drums - track 2-4, 10-11
Ryan Stanfield - slide guitar - track 1, 7
Severin Bozung - keys and piano - track 3
Kati Freeze - extra piano - track 4
Paul Carruth - drums - track 6-7
Dallon Weekes - extra vocals - track 6
Melissa Price - violin - track 7, 11
JP Haynie - harmonica - track 7
Dan Bolin - tuba - track 9
Dane Cannon - accordian - track 12

Robbie Welch, Tyler Powell, Steve Richardson, Dewey, Matt Saxton, Seth and Nate Graves, Jordan Englund, Rocky Cordray, Ikumi Watanabe, Joshua Rosenberg, Rob Myers, Micah Dahl Anderson, Leo Patrone, Kati Freeze, JP Haynie, and Karl Jorgensen - vocals and/or handclaps - tracks 6, 7 and 9

Engineered by Clarke Jackman
Mixed by Michael Greene
Mastered by Jeremy Smith
Album Art by Chris Coy

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Drew Danburry Baltimore, Maryland

Drew Danburry has independently toured and released records since 2002.

He's released over 400 songs on over 20 albums/13 EPs and played 800 + shows worldwide. Including 2 Daytrotter sessions, 3 invitations to Pop Montreal, 1 to Pygmalion Music Festival and 1 to Treefort Music Festival.

He's accomplished this long list of acheivements almost entirely DIY.
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